Wednesday, 20 September 2017

CHIVALRY DOES NOT MEAN INEQUALITY.


September 20th, 2017: as I walked out the train, I was heading for the stairs, when I saw this elderly man struggling with his suitcase. So being the decent human being that I am, I offered to help him, and he gladly accepted. But as I grabbed the handle on that suitcase, another man, came up behind me and took over. I looked over my shoulder and I was like " I can handle this, no worries " but he insisted on taking it.

And I gotta tell you, it's not like I was about to fall on my face with it, I only had my book bag on me and that was it. So I could've totally handled it. 

The fact that he knew, he saw that I could have done it by myself and yet he offered to help, that was what stuck to me. So, thank you, random stranger. 







Well this act of kindness today, brought my attention to a topic I'm very passionate about, and I've decided to swarm you with some of my opinions on it.

So, in this day and age, as shocking as it is, I still hear a lot of people, especially guys, making an analogy between chivalry and inequality. Their reasoning behind it is, " you women have been fighting for years now, for equality, and now that you have it, you still want us guys to do things for you? " As if being chivalrous equals being sexist. 

Okay, first for all, there's still so much injustice in the world against women, that I'm not comfortable with people thinking, equality is actually achieved. Equality is not achieved until every woman in the world can benefit from the same rights that men have. Plus, let's not forget that even in the most "developed countries" out there, as we like to call them, women are still not payed the same amounts that men are, for the same job, and the same damn qualifications. 






What I'm gonna do now, is kind of draining but crucial to understand the other mentality, which is give examples of what they mean. 
So, what I think they mean by it is: now that women are working, making money on their own, why should I treat you for food or something like that? Now that women are fighting for equality, why should I help you carry your luggage? Why should I open your door? Why should I do things for you in general? ( And trust me when I tell you that these perceptions do exist. I've encountered in my life people like that. )

My answer to all of those questions would be that you don't have to. You certainly can, but you shouldn't feel obliged to do so. Although it's common decency to be kind and nice to other people and that's what chivalry means to me. 

Well, when you search for the meaning of chivalry on Google this is what one of the definitions you'll find: " the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak. " Basically, what I said without the fancy wording. 

So it's a shame the majority of millennials are now defining it as a man doing things for a woman, putting gender roles to it, and that's what might be considered sexist. 

I, as a woman, don't need you to do anything for me, I can hold my own without you pulling the chair for me, opening the door for me, buying me food, holding my luggage, or paying for random crap for me. I am not incompetent. But I wouldn't mind if you do them. Who doesn't like it when someone is being nice to them? And the same if I'm being nice to a man, or to a woman or a man to a man. I've treated my girl and guy friends to meals before, I've helped them with their luggage and they did the same for me. We don't have to put gender limits to chivalry

And if you're dating, kindess should go both ways as well. 














Tuesday, 19 September 2017

BOOK REVIEW: " rules of attraction ( perfect chemistry #2) " BY SIMONE ELKELES.




- ...They try and influence us, but they don't judge anyone. At first, I thought it was an act, that nobody could just accept me even when I try to push them away. I think the Westfords really do accept people for who they are, flaws and all. -



Right after I finished reading perfect chemistry#1, I dove in the second book called rules of attraction, even though I was a little apprehensive of it not being as good as the first one. But, fortunately my expectations were met, above and beyond. 

So if you didn't already know, prefect chemistry#1 tells the story of Alejandro " Alex " Fuentes who is in gang, and decides to turn his life around. Alex also has 2 brothers, Carlos and Luis, and in rules of attraction we get to follow Carlos in his journey. 

Carlos Fuentes, is 17 years old and is going back to live with his brother, Alex in Colorado after a serious of unfortunate events, lead him, his mom and his younger brother to Mexico. And just like any other impressionable boy, who grew up surrounded by gangs, violence and death, he puts up a tough front. He acts like a complete pendejo in hopes of pushing everybody out of his life, and not getting close to anyone in fear of losing them. All these walls get torn down, when he meets Mr Westford. A good man, who lends a helping hand to whoever needs it. 

In his journey, Carlos ends up falling for Mr Westford's daughter, Kiara, who will obviously play a huge influence in his future decisions.

As I was writing this, I realized not only, how cheesy it is to think that love can solve everything, but how repetitive the same story is. Like, a bad boy falls for a girl and decides to turn his life around. But then I asked myself, why did I like it so much, then? And it hit me. I need to believe in stories like this one, I need to believe that people can change, that love is sometimes enough and I'm not just talking about the romantic love only. Like here, between Kiara and Carlos, I'm also talking about the love the Westfords gave Carlos. They treated him like a human being, not like he's just a gang banger, which is how most of us ( don't lie ) would treat him. Carlos was touched, like you won't believe, when Kiara's parents didn't freak out because he was dating their daughter. And sometimes, acts like this one, that seem to us so normal, can make people's day. 

So if you think that you can't learn anything from sappy romantic books, like this one, I say think again. Because if I learned anything from it, it would be to help people, even if they don't want it, or seem like they don't want it. Cause sometimes that tough exterior is just a facade.



Sunday, 17 September 2017

BOOK REVIEW: " perfect chemistry " BY SIMONE ELKELES.


A NEW YORK BEST TIME SELLER. 


-- Okay, so diversity breeds knowledge. But I've also seen it breed hatred and ignorance. --


" Perfect chemistry " is a masterpiece, created by Simon Elkeles, and it's a part of a trilogy. For multiple reasons, I wanted to give my take on each book separately first, before talking about them as a package. 

So, this book is the first one, and it's about a love story between two characters who seem, at first glance, like complete opposites. Alejandro " Alex " Fuentes, a Latino 17 year old boy, who is in a gang called ' Latino Blood.' People think they have him all figured out, like he's the most basic person ever. They see him as this scary, dangerous gang member who doesn't care about school or anything for that matter, other than doing drugs and getting drunk. Little do they know, he's not like that all. Alex is a softy at heart, which isn't a bad thing by the way. He has personal reasons for joining the gang, which, gave me a little bit more perspective on that subject to be honest with you.

And then there's Brittany Ellis, who is kind of the typical, rich white girl. Her entourage looks at her, and thinks that she leads a perfect life. She is the captain of the cheer team, she has a golden boyfriend, who is the captain of the football team, she wears expensive clothes and she drives a BMW. I mean, what more could a senior need, right ? Expect, she has her own demons to deal with as well. And just because she doesn't show them doesn't mean they don't exist. 

Their stories are gonna change tremendously when they start falling for each other and releazing that they're not as different as they think they are, since they'll push one another to be more real. I kind of realize that it's sort of an ongoing theme on my blog, to talk about characters in books or people in general, changing their stories, and I really didn't plan that, It's just happened and I'm not mad at it. It's what I'm drawn too at this age, and maybe that'll change when I get older; who knows? 

To finish off, I think people can learn a lot from this book, as it isn't just sappy lovey moments. They can learn to not judge other people from what they see, because you never know what goes on behind closed doors. They can learn to be real with themselves and show their true colors. They also can learn to accept diversity, accept that we are not all the same person and that being different is freaking awesome. They can learn that destiny can be changed, as cheesy as it sounds, it can. 


-- .. If you think you can't change the world, then go on and follow the path already carved out for you. But, there are other roads to choose, they're just harder to trudge through. Changing the world isn't easy, but I sure as hell am going to keep trying. Are you? --



CHIVALRY DOES NOT MEAN INEQUALITY.

September 20th, 2017 : as I walked out the train, I was heading for the stairs, when I saw this elderly man struggling with his suitcase. S...